Thursday, March 31, 2011

من ذكريات السنة الكبيسة

بات لساني معقودا و أناملي عاجزة عن الكتابة .. شُلّت أفكاري فلم أعد قادرة على التعبير
أربعة أشهر قد مرت .. نعم فقط أربع .. منذ أن بزغت شمس أول يوم معلنةً بداية السنة الميلادية الجديدة
إلا أن الأحداث التي حصلت خلال هذا الوقت و قبله بقليل تشعرك و كأنك قد عشت دهرا من الزمان لا بضعة أشهر ..
ثورة تلو الثورة .. أناس يموتون .. يُقتلّون .. نساء رُمّلت .. و أطفال يُتّموا .. و مع ذلك مازالوا صامدين!
يطالبون بحقوقهم .. بحريتهم .. باستعادة قيمتهم كبشر .. يطالبون أن يكونوا جزءا من صنع القرار ليسوا فقط قطيع خرفان يتبع راعيهم ..
لقد خطوا التاريخ بدمائهم ، لهذا لابد من تخليد ذكراهم في أنفسنا..
تونس .. مصر .. اليمن .. ليبيا .. سوريا .. و من يدري ماذا بعد..
مهما حاولت أن أكتب و أسهب .. فإنني أعلم أنني لن أوفّي الحدث قدر حقه..
لذلك لم أجد أفضل من الصور لتخليد ذكراهم في مخيلتي .. فصورة واحدة تغني عن ألف كلمة!





على الصعيد الشخصي .. لقد خضت أيضا أنا و دفعتي العزيزة حربا شعواء لا هوادة فيه مع قسم البيديا - طب الأطفال.
و بعد قرابة ثلاثة أشهر .. ها أنا أحمد الله و أشكره رافعة إليه أكف الضراعة على أن منّ علينا و انتهينا من هذا الكابوس الذي لم نجد منه إلا الهم و الغم و وجع الراص و سم البدن .. حتى بتّ لا أعرف لمن كانت الغلبة في نهاية المطاف!!!!!!!
و لكن الحمد لله .. لقد انتهى .. انتهى! و لن أراه ثانية إن شاء الله إلا في سنة الإمتياز ..
فأنا لا أفكر و لم أفكر من قبل قط في أن أتخصص به - و العياذ بالله.
رحمة الله على هؤلاء اللذين يرغبون بذلك ، بالأخص إن كانوا في المشفى الجامعي
فهم يستعبدون الطلبة و قد ولدتهم أمهاتهم أحرارا!!!

هكذا احتفلت أنا و صديقاتي بانتهاء هذا الكابوس .. لقد كانت لحظات من السعادة الخالصة .. فحمدا لله على كل شيئ xD

Thursday, December 23, 2010

TWO WEEKS IN HEAVEN!


I woke up today .. in the afternoon .. I realized this is the longest sleep I've ever had in the last 4 weeks .. I also realized that the last thing I was doing before I close my eyes - and even after - was crying !!

let me tell u a story .. actually it's not a story, it's much more like rants and memories that I wont ever forget.  Moments of pure happiness and joy that I never know when will I ever have them again.  And what makes it even harder on me, is that I can't let them go .. I can't accept the fact that they have ended ... I just .. can't bear that!!

The last two weeks I had an elective course with Dr."S.W" who happens to be a pulmonologist, which is a sub-speciality in medicine.  Those two weeks were the most amazing, beneficial, happiest, refreshing, satisfying, spontaneous and heart warming two weeks I've ever had in my entire career .. no .. in MY ENTIRE LIFE !!!! TWO WEEKS IN HEAVEN if I may say!

I never thought when I wrote down Dr."S.W's" name on the elective paper that I was actually writing the beginning of a life journey .. a breaking point to be more accurate.  All what I had in mind that the elective course must be light an easy with no pressures and the doctor is a sweet kind one who'll be teaching us medicine all the way.  Guess what? I had all that .. plus MORE!!

For the first time during the past five years in medical school I feel like I strongly belong to this .. this is my thing .. this is exactly what I wanna be .. I want to learn because "I" want to .. I don't mind staying up late just to study a topic or two or to prepare for a presentation because I am deeply enjoying doing that!

I also gained new friends.  Wonderful friends whom I looked and still looking forward to meet everyday to brighten up my day whenever I see their faces.  We did everything together and for each other.  We were honest, supporting, encouraging, never selfish and handled things professionally without making that getting in the way of our friendship. although they were only two weeks, but I warmed up to them .. no .. I LOVED them!  They are true friends that any one would be lucky to have them around. and for that, I'll always be grateful to God for having "trapped" and "W" in my life and of course all my other friends. =) XOXO

I'm also happy that I made friends with the resident and the two interns who were with us.  They were so kind to us and treated us like their own lil sisters.  They were excellent ma sha'a Allah and very efficient, cooperative and caring.  One of them just sent me a message today saying in it:

"plz pass it to your friends, coz ma 3endy argamkom.. kefakom banat :)
wallahe we had a good time with you ! and you were excellent ma sha'a allah :)
I wish you all the best, o if you need anything anytime just tell me :)
M
No. **********
Pager# "

isn't she the sweetest xD ❤

The specialist was also great with us.  I can almost say he is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to pulmonolgy.  He taught us many things and never ignored us.  And the last words he had spoken of to us were his personal opinion.  Those words were the nicest and the most encouraging thing I've ever heard since ever.

Finally, the consultant Dr. "S.W".  To me and in my humble opinion he is one of the greatest doctors I've ever met in my entire life!  I'm not gonna deny how scary I was of him in the first few days, but then all that disappeared when I got him right.
"he has it all .. morals .. knowledge .. professionalism!"
A truly great - if not the greatest ever - doctor!  Although he's a consultant, but he has a humorous sarcastic spirit and in the same time a sense of sanity and equity that forces you to respect him no matter what.  He cares about every body specially the patients and the students.  I'll never forget how he took us in his welcoming arms and made sure we were there with him wherever he went. How he made sure we get the information properly even if that means he has to come out during a procedure to explain what's been happening there.  How honest and straightforward he was in criticizing our performance and how kind and down to earth when he was doing that.  I'll always be inspired by him when it comes to work and responsibility.  It was very obvious that he puts all his heart in his work and how much he tries to be fair with every body.

I'll never forget the rounds and the clinic with him and the funny things he used to do and say..
I'll never forget the day we had that session with him n how much we benefited from it..
I'll never forget the day we had our presentations with him..
I'll never forget the soft way he treats his patients with..
I'll never forget the high levels of morals he treats everybody with..
I'll never forget his advices and the tips he told us about..
I'll never forget how he used to joke with us..
I'll never forget the small things I had with him..

when he asked me about Arabic series and how I answered him and what he recommended me to watch next year..
when he asked me about my name and how hardly he tried to think of someone he knows that could be a relative of mine..
how he was impressed by the way I speak English..
and the fact that he is the first doctor who remembered my name perfectly whenever he saw me..
and few other things that I think would be lame and silly mentioning them here. ! ^^''

I really enjoyed and benefited every single day with him!  May Allah bliss him and the others and reward them with highest rewards. Amen! =)

I sincerely ask god to help me not to forget those 2 weeks for they have showed me how much I can achieve .. I can be .. and I can do without losing ME .. the real ME!!  And the bunch of wonderful people I've met whom I already have created a spot for them in my heart for they have redeemed the unsatisfying thoughts I had of my self.

finally .. I must confess, as much as I love happy moments I hate what comes after they pass by. because living moments of pure joy &  happiness is everybody's wish.  And when they come, no one would ever wish to end.  And that what makes me sad and breaks my heart. Let along having DAYS of those moments .. my misery will double BIG times!!
That's why I couldn't hold my self together the last week.   I was crying almost every single night. I even couldn't hold my self the last day and broke down in front of "trapped"!!  :')



P.S:
I know there is a great deal of sentiments here, but I assure you it's rational too. ;)
and
there are somethings that I've mentioned here that I don't usually -if never- do! so plz .. what happens in the closet STAYS in the closet!! lol n' that's a small request to you my college friends ;)

Friday, November 19, 2010

STREET DANCE


just finished watching "Street Dance" and I thought I better post the review now before the heat of excitement goes away.

the story line is not that new and I hated the clothing. but hey .. who cares about cliches and clothes when watching a dance movie?! it's all about dancing and dancing is all what matters. the grand finale is something different though! so you GOTTA SEE THIS ONE xD

what I like about dancing movies is that you enjoy every moment coz you see people dancing all the time. you feel this rush of blood and the heat of excitement gets over your body and you start shakin it even if you're not used to dance! xD

thanks to my bro. who told me about this one. I really enjoyed it and I think you must enjoy it too bloggers =D

INCEPTION


A couple of days ago I watched “INCEPTION”, although my appetite for movies was down for unknown reason. I was so lazy to post a review back then. But it’s a MUST WATCH MOVIE!


The movie is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G with all what the word carries of meaning. Without a shred of doubt, one of the most original we have seen through many summers past.


You have to own a wild, unlimited and senseful imagination in the same time to be drawn in the movie. Or you can simply let the inception process lead you to that - it may sound vague for you if you haven’t watched the movie yet. ;)


I was utterly thrilled and excited. I could feel my heart pounding so hardly that I got worried it may continue on that forever. I only wished if the movie was longer than it is; because I felt there were some parts that wasn’t so clear or just got shrunken prematurely. Other than that, in my humble opinion it’s a valuable piece of work in all history of cinema.


Gotta say my appetite is back and thanks to INCEPTION for that! =D

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I NEED YOU MY CLOSET, I'M GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!!!




WARNING: this post may contain inappropriate words. if you wish to continue, please don't lecture and don't judge me!


I SOOO need my closet back right now. I'm pissed, angry, furious, irate, enraged ..etc. you may use whatever synonyms that come to your mind. I'm so angry that I'm ready to kill anyone who dares to cross me again. yes .. you may say that I TOTALLY LOST IT!

my sister's wedding is so close, it's about three weeks from now. I found my dream dress. it's simple and elegant just like I wish, but I didn't buy it till now and en sha'a allah I will soon. what makes me wanna rip someone's head off is that one of my younger sisters is insisting on getting a dress in almost the same color and the same model, although I have WARNED them - my entire family - not to get or even think close to that. because one of the most important rules in siblings weddings is that " you don't get to wear like each other not even closely! unless it's O.K. among your sisters to do so".

it's like a SIN! just WRONG .. FORBIDDEN .. PROHIBITED!!!

when it happens that one of the sisters wants what the other sister desires, ones must drop it and respects the other sister's desire and look for other options. there is always a plan B. there are LOADS and LOADS of dresses why you wanna play with fire?!!

actually there are lots of other reasons that are making me what I am now. one of them is I got into a HUGE horrible fight with my parents because of that. they don't share me the same mentality and are standing against me. I hate it because they shouldn't - specially mom! because I told her about my choice waaay before my other sis did. y3ny she was supposed to know the situation and respect my wish. but apparently I got stabbed in the back and thrown out of the window. :S

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I'm pissed and I wanna kill somebody!! :@ maybe I should look for that singer whom my friend R told us about. so I don't go straight to hill.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

What's in my Mind

the last couple of days right after the Family Medicine final, I couldn't stop singing and humming these two songs for Nancy Ajram:



LOVE !! the clip is just SO adorable and she looks so innocent and yummy specially the parts when she eats.lol that Labky director sure knows how to make the perfect image for Nancy. I couldn't imagine her going like Elisa or Haifa.



this one my cousin just told me about few days ago. since then I couldn't take it off my mind. I'm not exactly that kind of person who pays attention to the lyrics of a song. I care more about the melody. but in this one, the lyrics are simple and touchy. not that sophisticated and straight to the point even the clip is so expressive.

P.S: I don't usually post songs nor hear them that often. so God please forgive me for doing so!

enjoy

Sunday, October 10, 2010

OSCE DAY




hey there .. today I had a mid rotation OSCE in family medicine. I can't tell u how weird and confusing that exam was. I'm praying to god to have mercy on me and my friends. some of us , well , most of us were very unhappy and unsatisfied with the exam, but we managed to break through the day with BIG smiles on our faces every time we recall the exam and the amount of silly, dumb, innocent and funny things we did during it out of fear n' anxiety.


for instance, I was gonna leave the examination room with actually no scarf covering my head!! there was no time n' I was in a hurry n' totally forgot about it .. xD

and one of my friends kept holding the patient's foot while giving her advice about diabetic foot and she wasn't supposed to do that. beside she kept repeating the word "iltehab"- meaning "inflammation" - to the patient in almost every sentence .. I couldn't believe that medicine in Arabic would be awkward until this day came :P

another one forgot to ask about the patient's name and when the doctor confront her about that, she simply replayed confidently: " Fatima"! guess what .. her name was "Mariam" .. I know a complete bummer LOOOL xD


when we finished the exam they told us to leave the floor so we don't help the other girls who didn't take the exam to cheat. me and all my group friends were in one elevator on our way to the hospital cafeteria. during that time we went completely crazy. we yelled .. cursed .. n' even one of us screamed with the
"F" word n' she's usually not that kind of person !! at that exact moment the elevator door opened and a bunch of male students appeared in front of us!!! I don't know whether they heard that or not, and even if they did I can't imagine how their reactions would be! also at that moment my sweet smart cookie was fixing her scarf and coincidentally an edgy small part of her scarf hit my eyes. so my eyes went all red a teary. I walked out of the elevator looking like a girl who cries over exams - which I'm NOT btw. I only did it once in high school and never did again.

we all were very tired and exhausted. me my self I was very tired and sleepy for I didn't sleep the night before. we had a lecture after that from 1:00 p.m to almost 3:15 p.m but my eyes couldn't stay open for even a fraction of a second.
now that I'm home, I'm catching up with my TV-series that I couldn't watch last week when I was studying for the exam. an episode after another .. the
ULTIMATE joy for me .XD

enjoy your day sweets =D