SIXTH YEAR ..FINALLY!

Hello my friends. I know maybe it's a bit late to write this post. I mean it's been almost two months since I started my last year in med school. It's exciting and frightening in the same time. the idea of becoming real life doctors and taking responsibilities of saving human lives gives me palpitation.
This post was late simply because I'm a lazy a** girl. Plus I may got a bit occupied coz I was trying to keep up with my school life. You know the part of my life where I have to study the surgery topics that I'm seeing every day in the rounds, clinics and to prepare for the tutorials and also studying the lecture topics. Not to mention preparing as much as I can of the team cases so I can present what I can during the rounds. And then writing them down to put them later in the log book that have to be submitted before the 18-week-course ends. seems alot, but it's still nothing compared to what we're gonna face when we graduate.

General surgery is fun. But I think I'm not that interested. I can't handle hours and hours of standing on my feet. I can barely stand on them during the rounds let along looong surgeries! Although I'm gonna miss it when we switch to medicine next term.
The course includes two exams: a mid term exam that is composed of two parts: a written and an inactive OSCE part. And later we have the final exam of course.

So I'm supposed to go to Taif with my family for the annual Eid's gathering. But the thing is that I'm having these thoughts about not going and staying at home to study for my mid term which is about one and a half week from now. And that because I haven't been studying so well in the past few days!! I was planning on studying during the Haj break which has started just a week ago. But kept postponing & telling my self that I still have time. Though, I have opened the book several times trying to study a complete topic but I always get distracted or fell asleep so quickly. so I decided to go over the easy ones to make a progress, but once I get the feeling that I have the slightest clue about the subject, I slow down and then give my self a looong break. So you can imagine how I am feeling right now. The guilt is eating me inside out but I can't or I don't wanna do anything about it!! Which is worrying me. I have never been like this before. I've always been an excellent student who never wasted a second without studying. But since last year, I started to feel numb and apathy has been accompanying me since then. I don't know why or how but this doesn't feel normal and it's really worrying me.
I love living the Eid's spirit with my family. Taking anything destructing and depressing out of my mind and enjoying and cherishing every single moment of pure happiness. It always brings joy to my heart. But now in my condition I'm really confused! So what do you think I should do my friends?

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OSCE DAY

hey there .. today I had a mid rotation OSCE in family medicine. I can't tell u how weird and confusing that exam was. I'm praying to god to have mercy on me and my friends. some of us , well , most of us were very unhappy and unsatisfied with the exam, but we managed to break through the day with BIG smiles on our faces every time we recall the exam and the amount of silly, dumb, innocent and funny things we did during it out of fear n' anxiety.

for instance, I was gonna leave the examination room with actually no scarf covering my head!! there was no time n' I was in a hurry n' totally forgot about it .. xD

and one of my friends kept holding the patient's foot while giving her advice about diabetic foot and she wasn't supposed to do that. beside she kept repeating the word "iltehab"- meaning "inflammation" - to the patient in almost every sentence .. I couldn't believe that medicine in Arabic would be awkward until this day came :P

another one forgot to ask about the patient's name and when the doctor confront her about that, she simply replayed confidently: " Fatima"! guess what .. her name was "Mariam" .. I know a complete bummer LOOOL xD

when we finished the exam they told us to leave the floor so we don't help the other girls who didn't take the exam to cheat. me and all my group friends were in one elevator on our way to the hospital cafeteria. during that time we went completely crazy. we yelled .. cursed .. n' even one of us screamed with the "F" word n' she's usually not that kind of person !! at that exact moment the elevator door opened and a bunch of male students appeared in front of us!!! I don't know whether they heard that or not, and even if they did I can't imagine how their reactions would be! also at that moment my sweet smart cookie was fixing her scarf and coincidentally an edgy small part of her scarf hit my eyes. so my eyes went all red a teary. I walked out of the elevator looking like a girl who cries over exams - which I'm NOT btw. I only did it once in high school and never did again.

we all were very tired and exhausted. me my self I was very tired and sleepy for I didn't sleep the night before. we had a lecture after that from 1:00 p.m to almost 3:15 p.m but my eyes couldn't stay open for even a fraction of a second.
now that I'm home, I'm catching up with my TV-series that I couldn't watch last week when I was studying for the exam. an episode after another .. the ULTIMATE joy for me .XD

enjoy your day sweets =D