This post was late simply because I'm a lazy a** girl. Plus I may got a bit occupied coz I was trying to keep up with my school life. You know the part of my life where I have to study the surgery topics that I'm seeing every day in the rounds, clinics and to prepare for the tutorials and also studying the lecture topics. Not to mention preparing as much as I can of the team cases so I can present what I can during the rounds. And then writing them down to put them later in the log book that have to be submitted before the 18-week-course ends. seems alot, but it's still nothing compared to what we're gonna face when we graduate.
General surgery is fun. But I think I'm not that interested. I can't handle hours and hours of standing on my feet. I can barely stand on them during the rounds let along looong surgeries! Although I'm gonna miss it when we switch to medicine next term.
The course includes two exams: a mid term exam that is composed of two parts: a written and an inactive OSCE part. And later we have the final exam of course.
So I'm supposed to go to Taif with my family for the annual Eid's gathering. But the thing is that I'm having these thoughts about not going and staying at home to study for my mid term which is about one and a half week from now. And that because I haven't been studying so well in the past few days!! I was planning on studying during the Haj break which has started just a week ago. But kept postponing & telling my self that I still have time. Though, I have opened the book several times trying to study a complete topic but I always get distracted or fell asleep so quickly. so I decided to go over the easy ones to make a progress, but once I get the feeling that I have the slightest clue about the subject, I slow down and then give my self a looong break. So you can imagine how I am feeling right now. The guilt is eating me inside out but I can't or I don't wanna do anything about it!! Which is worrying me. I have never been like this before. I've always been an excellent student who never wasted a second without studying. But since last year, I started to feel numb and apathy has been accompanying me since then. I don't know why or how but this doesn't feel normal and it's really worrying me.
I love living the Eid's spirit with my family. Taking anything destructing and depressing out of my mind and enjoying and cherishing every single moment of pure happiness. It always brings joy to my heart. But now in my condition I'm really confused! So what do you think I should do my friends?
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