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HAPPY EID EVERYONE .. KOL SANA O ENTO TAYYEBEEN =D

Eid Mubarak and May Allah (SWT) accept our prayers and
good deeds and reward us with the highest place in Jannah.
May the blesssing of Allah fill your life with happiness, peace and success.

LOVE .. ❤

MY SECRET CLOSET

It all began long time ago back when I was a child. I was very calm, sensitive, shy and peaceful. in other words, a good child. But that didn't keep me away of troubles. As they say in Arabic " اتقِ شر الحليم إذا غضب ", when I used to get angry and furious, I used to turn to another person who knew nothing but making troubles.

Of course as a consequence, I used to get my fair share of punishment. those memories are not exactly my favorites for they left deep scars in my heart that I think will never fade away. Right away after my punishments, I used to run away .. well, not literally, but I mean I used to hide from my parents so they can't find me for they might continue what they started.
I used to hide under my bed, but they found me so easily!
I used to hide behind the door of my room that I used to share with my other sisters, again.. they found me .. and my sisters used to mock me for that.

and then I ran into my closet .. my lovely closet .. my secret dear closet .. and they didn't find me there for a quite long time.

My closet was very simple. long, perfectly wide, with one large shelf that was wide enough to let me set over it comfortably. It was two to three feet above the ground with my regular house clothes neatly folded on it, while my dresses were hanging down of the rail.

When I used to stay inside, I used to take the squatting position pulling my knees to my chest like I'm cuddling my self and lay down with my back sloping in comfort on the wall of the closet.

It was dark .. but cozy
I was alone .. but not lonely
It was so quite .. so peaceful .. and so warm ..

I used to talk to my self in whispers so I don't get busted. My imagination flew me away to my world that I created in my mind .. a world that no body knew of it .. a world where I can be whatever I wanna be .. the only place that could put an innocent happy smile again on my lips and no longer for me to feel sad or gloomy or depressed. It was the only place where black shadows weren't so scary. they felt like a smooth warming cloak over my little weak tired body that used to make me feel protected and content just like a mother cuddling her baby close.

My secret closet used to be my secret shelter from my sorrows ..
the place where I let go of my thoughts .. my imagination ..
and dream freely of anything and everything ..

and most importantly .. the place where I can mend my heart and heal my soul ..

My secret closet was one of the few factors that helped me not to grow up as a damaged child ..
for that I'm so grateful .. and so began this blog to immortalize those precious memories.

before I go .. I must tell u that I got busted !! but thanks god it was WAY TOO LATER. so I think I got to enjoy my closet after all.

one more thing .. there is one person who knows this story quite a while ago. I know when she reads this she might get mad of me - hopefully not - and I'm afraid she will always think of me as a horrible-fond-of -lying person. and I wont blame her for that! I honestly have nothing to say but I never intended to lie on anybody. I just wanted to keep it a secret for a while to see if my friends would be interested in me or not. But apparently, I failed .. and I failed BIG time! :S That because I couldn't be 100% ME. I was always anxious and hesitant about what should I write because I didn't want them to recognize me so quickly.
I know how pathetic I must be now .. but no more lying and no more secrets ..
Please forgive me my dear friends!

LOVE,

Jody Abbott

MEDITATIONS ..

Ramdan this year is Special! At least to me. I tried and I still trying to get the most of it. From the very first day of Ramadan I was drawn in the sea of queries .. confusion .. hope .. looking into my self wondering if I'm on the right path to seek the better person I wanna be. It's the feeling of something inside me has reawaken .. or revived this time urging me to meditate on my self and life with an open mind, examining eye, sincere heart and a unfeigned faith to realize what path I'm on and what changes I need in my self.

In the same time, I keep doing what I always do every Ramadan. Which is reading Qura'an, praying Tarwe7 and saying prayers whenever I recall what I want from this life. And of course thanks god I'm not a big fan of Arabic TV shows and it's drama. I think it's of a low quality and dreadfully pointless therefore it's a waste of time.

Speaking of TV shows, I only watch two. (Khawater 6) for Ahmad Al-Shuqairy and ( Biny o Benakom ) for Mohammad Al-Owadhy. I'm not gonna elaborate telling you about these two shows. because I'm sure we all - or the majority as I hope - know them very well. But I must put my remark and rise my hand up high applauding and clapping in respect for Mr. Al-shuqairy.

On the twenty first of Ramadan he gave us - in my opinion - one of his best episodes ever! He really out done him self when he clarified to us the concept of ( coexisting ) or ( Ta'aayosh ) as we say it in Arabic.

My mind .. my tongue .. my fingers can not just describe what I've felt when I saw with my eyes and heard with my ears what have been aired on that episode.
It may seem to some people to be just words and scenes drained of any meanings .. a job that must be done to earn some money .. a weak futile attempt to wake up dormant minds and open up blinded eyes to see the real facts and truth ..
but to me .. it certainly touched my heart that my tears would've been fallen over my cheeks if I haven't pressed my self into hiding them at that moment. It emphasized an idea I always believed in. That is :

(whatever your religion is - whether Muslim, Christean, Jewish ...etc - we could still live in harmony and satisfaction if each one of us knows how to respect others and values the humanity as it is and treats others based on this concept .. on this fact - that we are HUMANS - before seeing them as in races, sex, nationalities or whatever differences we have.)

It's not new .. I didn't discover that on my own .. it's all mentioned in Qura'an and taught by our messenger ( Muhammad peace be upon him ) .. look at this

يقول الله سبحانه وتعالى: يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ [الحجرات:13]

عن جابر أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم مروا عليه بجنازة فقام لها واقفاً ، فقالوا : يا رسول الله إنها جنازة يهودي !! فقال : ( أليست نفساً؟).١

so after this episode, I decided to upload it here as a way to show my support .. my believes .. and as an appreciation and respect for Mr. Al-Shuqairy. may allah grant him the strength and the sincerity to continue the good deeds he started.

Rumblings of an Insomniac

Assalmu Alaikom
Ramadan Mubarak and Kol sana o ento 6ayyebeen =)

normally, in a time like this - around 6:16 p.m - I should be deeply sleeping having sweet dreams. instead, I'm fully awake and no mater what I do I can never get the happy sleep I want. since that, I decided to write random things about my self until I get tired and fall asleep.

1) Yesterday, I dreamed about Peter Pan! actually I dreamed about almost all the characters with Peter Pan except for him! I know .. weird! but I think I was him, because I was rescuing my cousins with the his children fellows and Tinker bill of course XD. I loved the part when I was flying on my own XD.
I dunno why I dreamed of them, I don't even like the guy!

2) I have a prayer rug since I was 6 years old that I still use until now. I never changed it and I never felt it's small for me, but people keep telling me why I keep such thing with me all these years. well , honestly .. I dunno .. maybe coz my mom gave it to me in the first place .. or maybe coz I never felt it's getting smaller for me .. but I do know this : I love it and I don't think I'm gonna give it away any soon.

3) YA RAB WE GET THE RED CAR. It's SO BEAUTIFUL .. I fell in LOVE with it .. it's a LOVE from the first sight ❤❥❦

4) I'm craving for Indian Food.

5) I must loose some weight.

6) My sister always tells me that I move during sleeping. it's not like sleep walking ,it's more like I play with my hands when I'm asleep. she says that I often wave my hands or I point to something or I rise my arms like I'm wanting to grab some one. She also says that I sometimes talk. as weird as it may sound - or it may not - it doesn't bother me at all. one of my weird wishes is sleep walking, so moving and talking is close to it :P

7) I haven't bought a single piece of clothing for (EID) until now!!

8) my last attempt to sleep is reading, coz I know my self, every time I grab a book to read I immediately fall asleep on it. although I'm doubting this now, my reading skills have developed during the summer and I've became a bit more tolerant than before.

9) before I go, I'll finish my post with this inspiring short story that I've read just before I write all this .. it's in Arabic- and that's what makes it even more beautiful ❤

أحد السلف كان أقرع الرأس .. أبرص البدن .. أعمى العينين .. مشلول القدمين و اليدين، و كان يقول: ( " الحمد لله الذي عافاني مما ابتلى به كثيرا من خلقه، و فضلني عليهم تفضيلا "). فمر به رجل فقال له: مما عافاك؟؟ أعمى و أبرص و أقرع و مشلول .. فمما عافامك؟ فقال : ويحك يا رجل! جعل لي لسانا ذاكرا، و قلبا شاكرا، و بدنا على البلاء صابرا، اللهم ما أصبح بي من نعمة أو بأحد من خلقك فمنك و حدك لا شريك لك ، فلك الحمد و لك الشكر.١