TWO WEEKS IN HEAVEN!

I woke up today .. in the afternoon .. I realized this is the longest sleep I've ever had in the last 4 weeks .. I also realized that the last thing I was doing before I close my eyes - and even after - was crying !!

let me tell u a story .. actually it's not a story, it's much more like rants and memories that I wont ever forget.  Moments of pure happiness and joy that I never know when will I ever have them again.  And what makes it even harder on me, is that I can't let them go .. I can't accept the fact that they have ended ... I just .. can't bear that!!

The last two weeks I had an elective course with Dr."S.W" who happens to be a pulmonologist, which is a sub-speciality in medicine.  Those two weeks were the most amazing, beneficial, happiest, refreshing, satisfying, spontaneous and heart warming two weeks I've ever had in my entire career .. no .. in MY ENTIRE LIFE !!!! TWO WEEKS IN HEAVEN if I may say!

I never thought when I wrote down Dr."S.W's" name on the elective paper that I was actually writing the beginning of a life journey .. a breaking point to be more accurate.  All what I had in mind that the elective course must be light an easy with no pressures and the doctor is a sweet kind one who'll be teaching us medicine all the way.  Guess what? I had all that .. plus MORE!!

For the first time during the past five years in medical school I feel like I strongly belong to this .. this is my thing .. this is exactly what I wanna be .. I want to learn because "I" want to .. I don't mind staying up late just to study a topic or two or to prepare for a presentation because I am deeply enjoying doing that!

I also gained new friends.  Wonderful friends whom I looked and still looking forward to meet everyday to brighten up my day whenever I see their faces.  We did everything together and for each other.  We were honest, supporting, encouraging, never selfish and handled things professionally without making that getting in the way of our friendship. although they were only two weeks, but I warmed up to them .. no .. I LOVED them!  They are true friends that any one would be lucky to have them around. and for that, I'll always be grateful to God for having "trapped" and "W" in my life and of course all my other friends. =) XOXO

I'm also happy that I made friends with the resident and the two interns who were with us.  They were so kind to us and treated us like their own lil sisters.  They were excellent ma sha'a Allah and very efficient, cooperative and caring.  One of them just sent me a message today saying in it:

"plz pass it to your friends, coz ma 3endy argamkom.. kefakom banat :)
wallahe we had a good time with you ! and you were excellent ma sha'a allah :) I wish you all the best, o if you need anything anytime just tell me :)
M No. **********
Pager# "

isn't she the sweetest xD ❤

The specialist was also great with us.  I can almost say he is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to pulmonolgy.  He taught us many things and never ignored us.  And the last words he had spoken of to us were his personal opinion.  Those words were the nicest and the most encouraging thing I've ever heard since ever.

Finally, the consultant Dr. "S.W".  To me and in my humble opinion he is one of the greatest doctors I've ever met in my entire life!  I'm not gonna deny how scary I was of him in the first few days, but then all that disappeared when I got him right.

"he has it all .. morals .. knowledge .. professionalism!"

A truly great - if not the greatest ever - doctor!  Although he's a consultant, but he has a humorous sarcastic spirit and in the same time a sense of sanity and equity that forces you to respect him no matter what.  He cares about every body specially the patients and the students.  I'll never forget how he took us in his welcoming arms and made sure we were there with him wherever he went. How he made sure we get the information properly even if that means he has to come out during a procedure to explain what's been happening there.  How honest and straightforward he was in criticizing our performance and how kind and down to earth when he was doing that.  I'll always be inspired by him when it comes to work and responsibility.  It was very obvious that he puts all his heart in his work and how much he tries to be fair with every body.

I'll never forget the rounds and the clinic with him and the funny things he used to do and say..
I'll never forget the day we had that session with him n how much we benefited from it..
I'll never forget the day we had our presentations with him..
I'll never forget the soft way he treats his patients with..
I'll never forget the high levels of morals he treats everybody with..
I'll never forget his advices and the tips he told us about..
I'll never forget how he used to joke with us..
I'll never forget the small things I had with him..

when he asked me about Arabic series and how I answered him and what he recommended me to watch next year..
when he asked me about my name and how hardly he tried to think of someone he knows that could be a relative of mine..
how he was impressed by the way I speak English..
and the fact that he is the first doctor who remembered my name perfectly whenever he saw me..
and few other things that I think would be lame and silly mentioning them here. ! ^^''

I really enjoyed and benefited every single day with him!  May Allah bliss him and the others and reward them with highest rewards. Amen! =)

I sincerely ask god to help me not to forget those 2 weeks for they have showed me how much I can achieve .. I can be .. and I can do without losing ME .. the real ME!!  And the bunch of wonderful people I've met whom I already have created a spot for them in my heart for they have redeemed the unsatisfying thoughts I had of my self.

finally .. I must confess, as much as I love happy moments I hate what comes after they pass by. because living moments of pure joy &  happiness is everybody's wish.  And when they come, no one would ever wish to end.  And that what makes me sad and breaks my heart. Let along having DAYS of those moments .. my misery will double BIG times!!
That's why I couldn't hold my self together the last week.   I was crying almost every single night. I even couldn't hold my self the last day and broke down in front of "trapped"!!  :')



P.S:
I know there is a great deal of sentiments here, but I assure you it's rational too. ;)
and there are somethings that I've mentioned here that I don't usually -if never- do! so plz .. what happens in the closet STAYS in the closet!! lol n' that's a small request to you my college friends ;)

STREET DANCE

just finished watching "Street Dance" and I thought I better post the review now before the heat of excitement goes away.

the story line is not that new and I hated the clothing. but hey .. who cares about cliches and clothes when watching a dance movie?! it's all about dancing and dancing is all what matters. the grand finale is something different though! so you GOTTA SEE THIS ONE xD

what I like about dancing movies is that you enjoy every moment coz you see people dancing all the time. you feel this rush of blood and the heat of excitement gets over your body and you start shakin it even if you're not used to dance! xD

thanks to my bro. who told me about this one. I really enjoyed it and I think you must enjoy it too bloggers =D

INCEPTION

A couple of days ago I watched “INCEPTION”, although my appetite for movies was down for unknown reason. I was so lazy to post a review back then. But it’s a MUST WATCH MOVIE!

The movie is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G with all what the word carries of meaning. Without a shred of doubt, one of the most original we have seen through many summers past.

You have to own a wild, unlimited and senseful imagination in the same time to be drawn in the movie. Or you can simply let the inception process lead you to that - it may sound vague for you if you haven’t watched the movie yet. ;)

I was utterly thrilled and excited. I could feel my heart pounding so hardly that I got worried it may continue on that forever. I only wished if the movie was longer than it is; because I felt there were some parts that wasn’t so clear or just got shrunken prematurely. Other than that, in my humble opinion it’s a valuable piece of work in all history of cinema.

Gotta say my appetite is back and thanks to INCEPTION for that! =D

I NEED YOU MY CLOSET, I'M GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!!!

WARNING: this post may contain inappropriate words. if you wish to continue, please don't lecture and don't judge me!

I SOOO need my closet back right now. I'm pissed, angry, furious, irate, enraged ..etc. you may use whatever synonyms that come to your mind. I'm so angry that I'm ready to kill anyone who dares to cross me again. yes .. you may say that I TOTALLY LOST IT!

my sister's wedding is so close, it's about three weeks from now. I found my dream dress. it's simple and elegant just like I wish, but I didn't buy it till now and en sha'a allah I will soon. what makes me wanna rip someone's head off is that one of my younger sisters is insisting on getting a dress in almost the same color and the same model, although I have WARNED them - my entire family - not to get or even think close to that. because one of the most important rules in siblings weddings is that " you don't get to wear like each other not even closely! unless it's O.K. among your sisters to do so".

it's like a SIN! just WRONG .. FORBIDDEN .. PROHIBITED!!!

when it happens that one of the sisters wants what the other sister desires, ones must drop it and respects the other sister's desire and look for other options. there is always a plan B. there are LOADS and LOADS of dresses why you wanna play with fire?!!

actually there are lots of other reasons that are making me what I am now. one of them is I got into a HUGE horrible fight with my parents because of that. they don't share me the same mentality and are standing against me. I hate it because they shouldn't - specially mom! because I told her about my choice waaay before my other sis did. y3ny she was supposed to know the situation and respect my wish. but apparently I got stabbed in the back and thrown out of the window. :S

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I'm pissed and I wanna kill somebody!! :@ maybe I should look for that singer whom my friend R told us about. so I don't go straight to hill.

What's in my Mind

the last couple of days right after the Family Medicine final, I couldn't stop singing and humming these two songs for Nancy Ajram:



LOVE !! the clip is just SO adorable and she looks so innocent and yummy specially the parts when she eats.lol that Labky director sure knows how to make the perfect image for Nancy. I couldn't imagine her going like Elisa or Haifa.



this one my cousin just told me about few days ago. since then I couldn't take it off my mind. I'm not exactly that kind of person who pays attention to the lyrics of a song. I care more about the melody. but in this one, the lyrics are simple and touchy. not that sophisticated and straight to the point even the clip is so expressive.

P.S: I don't usually post songs nor hear them that often. so God please forgive me for doing so!

enjoy

OSCE DAY

hey there .. today I had a mid rotation OSCE in family medicine. I can't tell u how weird and confusing that exam was. I'm praying to god to have mercy on me and my friends. some of us , well , most of us were very unhappy and unsatisfied with the exam, but we managed to break through the day with BIG smiles on our faces every time we recall the exam and the amount of silly, dumb, innocent and funny things we did during it out of fear n' anxiety.

for instance, I was gonna leave the examination room with actually no scarf covering my head!! there was no time n' I was in a hurry n' totally forgot about it .. xD

and one of my friends kept holding the patient's foot while giving her advice about diabetic foot and she wasn't supposed to do that. beside she kept repeating the word "iltehab"- meaning "inflammation" - to the patient in almost every sentence .. I couldn't believe that medicine in Arabic would be awkward until this day came :P

another one forgot to ask about the patient's name and when the doctor confront her about that, she simply replayed confidently: " Fatima"! guess what .. her name was "Mariam" .. I know a complete bummer LOOOL xD

when we finished the exam they told us to leave the floor so we don't help the other girls who didn't take the exam to cheat. me and all my group friends were in one elevator on our way to the hospital cafeteria. during that time we went completely crazy. we yelled .. cursed .. n' even one of us screamed with the "F" word n' she's usually not that kind of person !! at that exact moment the elevator door opened and a bunch of male students appeared in front of us!!! I don't know whether they heard that or not, and even if they did I can't imagine how their reactions would be! also at that moment my sweet smart cookie was fixing her scarf and coincidentally an edgy small part of her scarf hit my eyes. so my eyes went all red a teary. I walked out of the elevator looking like a girl who cries over exams - which I'm NOT btw. I only did it once in high school and never did again.

we all were very tired and exhausted. me my self I was very tired and sleepy for I didn't sleep the night before. we had a lecture after that from 1:00 p.m to almost 3:15 p.m but my eyes couldn't stay open for even a fraction of a second.
now that I'm home, I'm catching up with my TV-series that I couldn't watch last week when I was studying for the exam. an episode after another .. the ULTIMATE joy for me .XD

enjoy your day sweets =D

ِ

HAPPY EID EVERYONE .. KOL SANA O ENTO TAYYEBEEN =D

Eid Mubarak and May Allah (SWT) accept our prayers and
good deeds and reward us with the highest place in Jannah.
May the blesssing of Allah fill your life with happiness, peace and success.

LOVE .. ❤

MY SECRET CLOSET

It all began long time ago back when I was a child. I was very calm, sensitive, shy and peaceful. in other words, a good child. But that didn't keep me away of troubles. As they say in Arabic " اتقِ شر الحليم إذا غضب ", when I used to get angry and furious, I used to turn to another person who knew nothing but making troubles.

Of course as a consequence, I used to get my fair share of punishment. those memories are not exactly my favorites for they left deep scars in my heart that I think will never fade away. Right away after my punishments, I used to run away .. well, not literally, but I mean I used to hide from my parents so they can't find me for they might continue what they started.
I used to hide under my bed, but they found me so easily!
I used to hide behind the door of my room that I used to share with my other sisters, again.. they found me .. and my sisters used to mock me for that.

and then I ran into my closet .. my lovely closet .. my secret dear closet .. and they didn't find me there for a quite long time.

My closet was very simple. long, perfectly wide, with one large shelf that was wide enough to let me set over it comfortably. It was two to three feet above the ground with my regular house clothes neatly folded on it, while my dresses were hanging down of the rail.

When I used to stay inside, I used to take the squatting position pulling my knees to my chest like I'm cuddling my self and lay down with my back sloping in comfort on the wall of the closet.

It was dark .. but cozy
I was alone .. but not lonely
It was so quite .. so peaceful .. and so warm ..

I used to talk to my self in whispers so I don't get busted. My imagination flew me away to my world that I created in my mind .. a world that no body knew of it .. a world where I can be whatever I wanna be .. the only place that could put an innocent happy smile again on my lips and no longer for me to feel sad or gloomy or depressed. It was the only place where black shadows weren't so scary. they felt like a smooth warming cloak over my little weak tired body that used to make me feel protected and content just like a mother cuddling her baby close.

My secret closet used to be my secret shelter from my sorrows ..
the place where I let go of my thoughts .. my imagination ..
and dream freely of anything and everything ..

and most importantly .. the place where I can mend my heart and heal my soul ..

My secret closet was one of the few factors that helped me not to grow up as a damaged child ..
for that I'm so grateful .. and so began this blog to immortalize those precious memories.

before I go .. I must tell u that I got busted !! but thanks god it was WAY TOO LATER. so I think I got to enjoy my closet after all.

one more thing .. there is one person who knows this story quite a while ago. I know when she reads this she might get mad of me - hopefully not - and I'm afraid she will always think of me as a horrible-fond-of -lying person. and I wont blame her for that! I honestly have nothing to say but I never intended to lie on anybody. I just wanted to keep it a secret for a while to see if my friends would be interested in me or not. But apparently, I failed .. and I failed BIG time! :S That because I couldn't be 100% ME. I was always anxious and hesitant about what should I write because I didn't want them to recognize me so quickly.
I know how pathetic I must be now .. but no more lying and no more secrets ..
Please forgive me my dear friends!

LOVE,

Jody Abbott

MEDITATIONS ..

Ramdan this year is Special! At least to me. I tried and I still trying to get the most of it. From the very first day of Ramadan I was drawn in the sea of queries .. confusion .. hope .. looking into my self wondering if I'm on the right path to seek the better person I wanna be. It's the feeling of something inside me has reawaken .. or revived this time urging me to meditate on my self and life with an open mind, examining eye, sincere heart and a unfeigned faith to realize what path I'm on and what changes I need in my self.

In the same time, I keep doing what I always do every Ramadan. Which is reading Qura'an, praying Tarwe7 and saying prayers whenever I recall what I want from this life. And of course thanks god I'm not a big fan of Arabic TV shows and it's drama. I think it's of a low quality and dreadfully pointless therefore it's a waste of time.

Speaking of TV shows, I only watch two. (Khawater 6) for Ahmad Al-Shuqairy and ( Biny o Benakom ) for Mohammad Al-Owadhy. I'm not gonna elaborate telling you about these two shows. because I'm sure we all - or the majority as I hope - know them very well. But I must put my remark and rise my hand up high applauding and clapping in respect for Mr. Al-shuqairy.

On the twenty first of Ramadan he gave us - in my opinion - one of his best episodes ever! He really out done him self when he clarified to us the concept of ( coexisting ) or ( Ta'aayosh ) as we say it in Arabic.

My mind .. my tongue .. my fingers can not just describe what I've felt when I saw with my eyes and heard with my ears what have been aired on that episode.
It may seem to some people to be just words and scenes drained of any meanings .. a job that must be done to earn some money .. a weak futile attempt to wake up dormant minds and open up blinded eyes to see the real facts and truth ..
but to me .. it certainly touched my heart that my tears would've been fallen over my cheeks if I haven't pressed my self into hiding them at that moment. It emphasized an idea I always believed in. That is :

(whatever your religion is - whether Muslim, Christean, Jewish ...etc - we could still live in harmony and satisfaction if each one of us knows how to respect others and values the humanity as it is and treats others based on this concept .. on this fact - that we are HUMANS - before seeing them as in races, sex, nationalities or whatever differences we have.)

It's not new .. I didn't discover that on my own .. it's all mentioned in Qura'an and taught by our messenger ( Muhammad peace be upon him ) .. look at this

يقول الله سبحانه وتعالى: يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ [الحجرات:13]

عن جابر أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم مروا عليه بجنازة فقام لها واقفاً ، فقالوا : يا رسول الله إنها جنازة يهودي !! فقال : ( أليست نفساً؟).١

so after this episode, I decided to upload it here as a way to show my support .. my believes .. and as an appreciation and respect for Mr. Al-Shuqairy. may allah grant him the strength and the sincerity to continue the good deeds he started.

Rumblings of an Insomniac

Assalmu Alaikom
Ramadan Mubarak and Kol sana o ento 6ayyebeen =)

normally, in a time like this - around 6:16 p.m - I should be deeply sleeping having sweet dreams. instead, I'm fully awake and no mater what I do I can never get the happy sleep I want. since that, I decided to write random things about my self until I get tired and fall asleep.

1) Yesterday, I dreamed about Peter Pan! actually I dreamed about almost all the characters with Peter Pan except for him! I know .. weird! but I think I was him, because I was rescuing my cousins with the his children fellows and Tinker bill of course XD. I loved the part when I was flying on my own XD.
I dunno why I dreamed of them, I don't even like the guy!

2) I have a prayer rug since I was 6 years old that I still use until now. I never changed it and I never felt it's small for me, but people keep telling me why I keep such thing with me all these years. well , honestly .. I dunno .. maybe coz my mom gave it to me in the first place .. or maybe coz I never felt it's getting smaller for me .. but I do know this : I love it and I don't think I'm gonna give it away any soon.

3) YA RAB WE GET THE RED CAR. It's SO BEAUTIFUL .. I fell in LOVE with it .. it's a LOVE from the first sight ❤❥❦

4) I'm craving for Indian Food.

5) I must loose some weight.

6) My sister always tells me that I move during sleeping. it's not like sleep walking ,it's more like I play with my hands when I'm asleep. she says that I often wave my hands or I point to something or I rise my arms like I'm wanting to grab some one. She also says that I sometimes talk. as weird as it may sound - or it may not - it doesn't bother me at all. one of my weird wishes is sleep walking, so moving and talking is close to it :P

7) I haven't bought a single piece of clothing for (EID) until now!!

8) my last attempt to sleep is reading, coz I know my self, every time I grab a book to read I immediately fall asleep on it. although I'm doubting this now, my reading skills have developed during the summer and I've became a bit more tolerant than before.

9) before I go, I'll finish my post with this inspiring short story that I've read just before I write all this .. it's in Arabic- and that's what makes it even more beautiful ❤

أحد السلف كان أقرع الرأس .. أبرص البدن .. أعمى العينين .. مشلول القدمين و اليدين، و كان يقول: ( " الحمد لله الذي عافاني مما ابتلى به كثيرا من خلقه، و فضلني عليهم تفضيلا "). فمر به رجل فقال له: مما عافاك؟؟ أعمى و أبرص و أقرع و مشلول .. فمما عافامك؟ فقال : ويحك يا رجل! جعل لي لسانا ذاكرا، و قلبا شاكرا، و بدنا على البلاء صابرا، اللهم ما أصبح بي من نعمة أو بأحد من خلقك فمنك و حدك لا شريك لك ، فلك الحمد و لك الشكر.١

My Home Summer Job $$$

Summer and money. These two words are strictly bound to each other no matter what your plans are. Whether to spend money on traveling, shopping, investments...etc. Or to earn money like applying for a summer job. Or starting a temporary business…etc.

I was thinking before my vacation started about getting a summer job, but the circumstances didn’t really helped me getting one. Lucky me, I have a sister who got a summer contract with some governmental institution. She’s like a supervisor and a technician in the same time. She has to do all the hard work Like preparing the power points, the data shows, the food, she has to watch over the girls and god knows what else she has to do too.

One day she asked for my personal opinion on the introductory power point. I told her what I think. Then, I offered her my professional help in exchange of a favor I wanted from her. She accepted that and told me if she liked my work she’s gonna make a professional deal with me. my mind went like awww professional = $$$! I can't refuse that so I took the deal.

I made the ppt and she liked it. Then she offered me to pay 30 Rs. for every 10 slides I do. I was like .. WOoOW! A real profit .. I get to earn money of my own effort. I accepted the deal immediately I didn’t even bargain.

Until now I’ve made 6 power points and one design for a brochure- yeah .. this counts too ☺. And almost each one of them contains 15 – 25 slides. Well.. you do the math. :P I’m sure it’s 100 something -if not 200!! XD.

Awww.. I’m so happy and proud of my self. May this be the beginning of a successful career for me XD.

THE UGLY MAID!

Guess what bloggers?! I just came from my aunt’s house. She was having a dinner coz she has a new grandson. Don’t get so excited!! I didn’t wanna go in the first place coz I don’t actually care! I mean I don’t like children and I don’t really get along so easily with my relatives of my mother side. However, I was surprised this evening when I heard my aunt’s daughter in-low - (K) - telling us what she likes for her maid to be like.

She had two maids lately. The first one she was pretty in an acceptable way. When she came to KSA the first time, she was wearing this very tight jeans and a red tight short t-shirt exposing some of her belly. (K) was supposed to be upset, instead she was happy, but her husband wasn’t! So the next day, he went to the (este8dam) office, yelled at them n asked for a new maid n’ take this one back.

Of course, in order to do so, he must pay extra money. Poor cousin! ;P

The second maid –according to her sayings – was a disaster!!!!!!

From the very first moment she and her husband put their eyes on her, they opened their mouths and eyes widely in SHOCK!!!!! Guess what was the reason!

I’ll tell you what was it. (K) was shocked because her new maid is UGLY!!! Her husband was shocked, because he knew his wife wouldn’t accept her, which means the money he just spent on her is gone! I feel for you cous., I know how it feels loosing ur money!. x) It took his wife few moments to ask him to take her back and ask the (este8dam) office for another new maid. But this time she told him to write on the official papers that their maid MUST BE BEAUTIFUL or of an ACCEPTABLE APPEARANCE!!!!!!!!

Could you believe this!! She is unbelievable!!!!! I remember when I read this article in the newspaper about the Saudi government allowing the recruitment of maids from Afghanistan and the surrounding countries. The Saudi women weren’t soo happy, they felt threatened by them. They were afraid that their maids may steal their husbands from them!!

When I heard her story, I was laughing like everybody else. But in the same time, I was very upset! I mean ppl don’t have the right to judge other ppl based on their appearance. And she was talking about her maid like she is some sort of monster or an unwanted creature! Beside, she's came all the way leaving her country .. her family and beloved ones just to serve other ppl whom she does not even know. that should be considered before any master thinks about insulting his\her maid! she's here to help you in your home .. she's not a model to consider her beauty. Luckily for us, (K) brought her maid with her. So, my mom told her to call for her maid so we can take a look at her. To be honest, I hated what my mom did. I told them I’m afraid if she came I might burst into laughing, so plz don’t do that. But my mom insisted. When the maid came, I must say, she wasn’t very pretty! But she was acceptable to me. She just has this swollen upper lip like it was bitten by an insect. After she’s gone, they started to tell some jokes about her. I was really uncomfortable with that. I wanted to yell at them and slap that (K) on her face for the jokes she made and for the unreasonable demands. But I hold it together, and I managed to close the subject.

How cruel that could be?! I mean take a look at this:

عن أنس رضي الله عنه قال: " خدمت رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم تسع سنين، فما أعلمه قال لي قط لما فعلت كذا و كذا و لا عاب علي شيئا قط"١

قال صلى الله عليه و سلم : “ لا فرق بين عربي و لا اعجمي إلا بالتقوى، إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم".ا

it seems so simple, but in real life, we almost never pay attention to this!

SUMMER & GOOD MEMORIES

It's SUMMER everyone .. finally, we can rest! NO more studying.. NO more exams .. MUCH MORE FUN is waiting for us .. I hope..

SO HAPPY SUMMER FOR U BLOGGERS!

I'm telling u that, because me myself is having a rough time these days. But I'm trying to adopt by remembering and recalling good times, nice memories and LOADS and LOADS of TV-series and movies. I'm so addicted to these things. The funny thing is they are called ((TV))-shows, but I never open the TV except rarely, I have them all in my sweet precious laptop.
I had so much plans for this summer .. but I'm afraid I have no control on my life right now.. I just have to be patient. I hope by time every thing is gonna work for me.
The title of my post says "GOOD MEMORIES" .. yes .. good memories. They are one of my precious things that I have. That kind of things that gives me strength and helps me back on track when I get lost sometimes.

one of these memories is the day when my eldest bro. told me "I LOVE YOU"!

one day he called me, to check on me and the family - since he's a newly married man and apparently he does misses his family pretty mush, which goes against what he expected before he got married lol. we blabbed and blabbed and then we laughed and then he told me:

" u know what !!? I LOVE U .. and I love talkin' to u .. u makes me happy every time I do so.. u'r funny and easy to talk to".

I know this sounds like a boy talking to his girl friend .. but when I heard these words .. specially that they are coming out of my brother .. it meant every thing to me .. like the world to me!
that made me feel warm and content and most importantly.. it made me feel that I'm a good person.

I must confess .. me and him didn't really have this perfect brother-sister relationship in the past. We were like oil and fire .. dog and a cat!! suddenly, after his marriage, everything have changed! I changed .. he changed.. we became more mature and more peaceful. In our family, we're not used to show our love to each other. not by words , not by kisses nor by hugs! Beside, I have this idea in my head of me being waaaay too far of a funny person, despite what I hear from other ppl. So, u can imagine how something like this would make my day.

His wife told me once that he likes talkin' to me , he likes when I go out with them. she told me that before he does, but I didn't really go with it ..considering our shameful past.

A memory like this always brings the good out of me .. making me remember one of my utmost wishes in life .. which is to make every one happy. And knowing that I could do so to even to one single person makes my heart jumps of joy.